messy thoughts // “Honey, I’m home”

Dear lovely readers,

Honey, I’m home” as in “Hi to the patient readers of my blog that are reading this right now” I’m back. I know I’ve probably wrote this maybe like 5 times this year already, BUT I hope I’m really back now, I’ll try at least.

So, let’s start somewhere… First things first – I finished my first year of university so I officially started my summer break now, which means, no more full days of classes followed by assignments and homework after and hopefully also more inspiration.

It was a tiring first year, I must admit – busy, challenging and exhausting, but because of all the previously mentioned I’m even happier and prouder of myself for pulling through and working hard even when I felt like giving up.

Starting university meant lots of new things were about to happen in my life and I have to admit that back in October when it all began I didn’t truly expect for my life to be so different. I thought: Yes, I’m going to attend university, yes, it’s not in my hometown or a bus ride away, it is a new city, but how different can that be? Well, I quickly realized it was all going to be quite different, but I just needed to adapt. Easier said than done, because it’s not like you have a year time to get used to everything. You have to adapt quickly, which meant lots of stress and insecurities for me at first. The month of October was a complete whirlwind of events for me – something new every day, but I think the busyness of the first month prepared me for all the craziness and hard work and running around that was waiting for me in the next months.

It’s been less than a year, but so much has changed. Whenever someone says things can change drastically in just a year’s time and how people can change in so little time I never really believed that but typing this today I couldn’t agree more. Change is good if you accept it and turn it into something better than it was before. Change is good if you don’t resist and constantly long for what your life used to be like. I’m the type of person who looooves to reminisce about the past. I guess it’s just part of my personality and I’ll never be able to erase that from myself, not that I want to, but it can be a trait that obstacles you when bigger changes occur. Therefore, this year has been a big challenge – imagine playing a video game and being only one level away from completing all the missions, but if you lose the last one, you must start over – that’s kind of how I felt. Nervous and even a little scared of what was awaiting me, but also unsure if I’d be able to up-grade and complete this level (if we’re still on that videogame metaphor)

At times it was just a flood of due dates at university, errands to run, stress about finding a new flat mate and even more struggles that I can’t even remember now, but when it all crams up it does feel like too much at times. You feel like you’re not capable and you won’t succeed, you feel lost and tired… but you never, NEVER, should let any of that stop you, because you are capable, you are enough, you are all that and more.

I’m not sure if this blog post is even making any sense anymore, because I’m just typing away all these end-of-the-first-year-uni feelings away and there is so much more I’d want to say, but if you’d read up to this point you’ve already read a lot so I’ll stop here and get back to you really soon, this time I promise I won’t come back in 4 months with a “I’m back” post.

Until then,

xoxo,

Arianna

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s